Creating Magic

May your day be sprinkled with pixie dust

Sometimes Big Boys DO Cry February 16, 2011

   Recently a client of mine, a man in his late 50’s, returned for a session.  Once I started doing reflexology on his feet, tears abruptly began streaming from his eyes.  Then he was sobbing.  I held his feet a while longer and then sat down next to him holding his shoulder and his spine and just began speaking with him.  He was expressing extreme grief for the loss of his dog.   He kept apologizing to me that he was crying. 

   I asked within to my faerie guides and my helpers The kind and caring family of the Muppet Gang what words we could gift to our client that would assist him at this time.   Gabby of the SDFDC started singing, “Big Boys Don’t Cry” as a way of showing me what many men in our culture especially United States are taught from a young age.  Crying is thought to be a weakness and definitely creates a vulnerability.  Maybe this is why we have so many young men who act out of rage … years of supressed emotions that become bottled up and have no other way to be expressed except through violence because they have been told NOT to cry.

   Belle told me to place my hand on his heart and then we said to our client, “John, crying is a healthy, natural way for you to express your grief because your dog has passed.  He was part of your life and now his is gone.  I know you are scared thinking that if you start crying you may never stop.  This is not true.  You are in a safe location and you may cry as much as you need to.  You are still a man and still strong.  It is okay to be vulnerable.  This will not be used against you.”    John then began to express that it was funny that he was crying more now for his dog than he did at his mother’s funeral.

   I checked in with Scout from our trusty faerie dust clan to see what he could “scout” out about this issue.   He showed me a picture in my head of John’s dog as a gateway to release the grief from John’s mom’s death.  I thanked Scout and said to John, “John, your tears now are also tears about your mom’s passing.   The loss of your dog is now a gift to you to allow you to cry for losing your mother.”   John began to calm and we worked closely on deep breathing.  We worked on opening his lungs to allow new breath to come into his chest and his body.

    “John,” I said, “your dog is not gone and neither is your mother.   They have merely shifted forms.  You are allowed at any time to talk to them and say hello and let them know how much you care about them.  They will hear you and be grateful and will send you love in return. ”   John asked me how he speak with his dog.  Twig whispered in my ear, “Ask him about what activities they did together.”   Sweet Twig … I thanked him … “John, what was you and your dog’s favorite activity?”  He replied, “Spot (name changed out of respect for client) loved going for a daily ride in the car and he would sit on my wife’s lap.”   I said, “Great!  Go for a ride in your car.  Picture Spot sitting in the seat with your wife and speak to him as if he were truely there.  Let him know what you are feeling.  He will hear you.”  

    The Muppet Gang and the SDFDC and the Universe want men, women, children to know that sometimes it is okay to cry, okay to ask for help, okay to be vulnerable.   And after crying we can then smile and laugh at all the help we received.



(Written by:  Shannon Sullivan

  Song by:  Lucky Dube – “Big Boys Don’t Cry”

   Thank you to:  My client who was willing to cry, the SDFDC (Sonoran  Desert Faerie Dust Clan and Muppet Gang for their kindly assistance in working with us and to Our REaders)


One Response to “Sometimes Big Boys DO Cry”

  1. nrhatch Says:

    Wonderful post, Shannon.

    Our emotions can become locked deep in our tissues, only to be released with massage . . .

    Good for you for allowing his grief to surface.

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